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Month: August, 2013

Dear Perpetrator

August 30, 2013

Dear Perpetrator…

                I wanted to address you as personally as I can, but obviously I don’t know you. Since the crime you are about to commit is unknown to me, I think that you should know a few things about your crime and the impact it has on families, not that I’m sure you really care.

                And whether or not you have a family or not is not the issue. Too many people today, obviously yourself included,  think about only themselves and it’s about time someone hold those of you who don’t care about others accountable for what you’re about to do. And the heartache and mental anguish you’ll cause for no really good reason, other than you’re mad.

                Whether you intend to kill, maim, or even just bruise someone. Whether or not you physically or verbally assault someone, the result will be the same. It will cost you your job, money (for all of you (the victim, you, & the company), time in prison, and eventually a whole bunch of remorse (IF you get the right help, which I doubt you will. You are after all someone who is self-centered and narcissistic.

                And keep in mind that killing yourself doesn’t help anyone either. Whether or not you kill yourself or do it by having a police officer do your dirty work for you (you must be a coward to do it this way) it does still not want to pay for your crime. Yes I know 66% of you will do this, but that doesn’t matter and obviously YOUR family doesn’t matter either.

                Do you enjoy hearing kids scream in terror, cry, and feel guilty for a parent’s death? They will you know, no matter what you say or the counselors. It will take years for a child to get over a parents death and thinking how they could have done something or shouldn’t have done something. If you forgot what it’s like to be a kid, that’s part of your problem.

                I don’t care if you have pressures in your life, who doesn’t! We all have financial, social, & familial responsibilities to face up to. And considering you are probably a man you need to, as the old saying goes, MAN UP! Or at least talk to someone who can help.

                There is nothing saying that because you’re a man you have to kill, maim, or create havoc to get your way. Did you not learn better from your parents? It takes a bigger man to seek help than just to lash out. And if you’re worried about your significant partner cheating or working… obviously you’re not doing something to satisfy them emotionally or mentally.

                So, if they want to leave, let them go. They don’t belong to you and you don’t own them. As for the co-workers you’re mad at – so what! Let them do what they will. Eventually they’ll get their comeuppance, some where at some time – but you’re not judge, jury, or executioner.

                And what about the co-workers who just happen to get in your way and are completely innocent? Don’t you think they deserve a little better than being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

                And then there’s the employer or business you’re mad at. Think you don’t make enough money and they keep raising prices or not giving you a raise? It’s because of people like you that cost us more than $120 Billion a year in higher prices! So, obviously you don’t really care that other people have to pay higher prices, just not you. Why? Because you’re special?

                I hope that this clarifies things for you. I’m glad you like to hear people screaming in fear and terror because of you. It’s nice to know that there are people who like to hear children cry. Not to mention parents bury their own kids and husbands and wives lose the love of their life.

                Have a great and wonderful day you sad pathetic bag of snail and snake s***!

 

            Clients rely on the 30 years of skills, knowledge, & expertise of Sollars Security Shield to ensure the safety and security of their property and their most important asset’s – their people. He helps these companies to avoid the multi-million dollar lawsuits that can result from a single incident of WPV.

            Robert D. Sollars is a recognized expert on workplace/school violence prevention. He has appeared in numerous media outlets in the past 30 years of being in the field and 20 studying, writing, and speaking about WPV/SV.

            Robert uses the 30 years of field experience to give real life examples of incidents pulled from both his experience and the news headlines. Let him do this for you as well. Contact him at 480-251-5197 or visit the website at;

www.sollarssecurityshield.com

7 Steps to Resolve Personality Conflicts in the Workplace

August 23, 2013

7 Steps to Resolve Personality Conflicts in the Workplace – By: Carol Fredrickson

 

Personality conflicts are the most commonly reported problems in the workplace. Too often these conflicts go unresolved because people concentrate on the personalities rather than focusing on the issues. When they escalate they create a TOXIC work environment.

 

In any relationship, both people influence the other’s behavior. In personality conflicts both parties bear some responsibility for where “things are at.”

 

Conflicts can rip teams apart, destroy morale and decrease everyone’s quality of life. We can’t control or change the personality of the other person but we certainly can control our own emotions and change the way we react to the other person.

 

Use these 7 steps to help you resolve the conflicts:

 

  1. Avoid discussing the issue with other colleagues. Many people who are involved in personality conflicts recruit allies among their co-workers. This can create polarization among co-workers and it escalates the situation. While you are passionately upset about this, others are not and most often co-workers are uncomfortable and sometimes frightened over the situation. This behavior is disruptive to the organization and makes it more difficult to fix the situation. FOCUS on what you can do to make things better!

 

  1. Never respond immediately to the person who is irking you. They know how to push your buttons and they have done so over a period of time. By not responding immediately you give yourself some time to think through your response and this pause may cause the other person to think that you are backing down and they will begin to de-escalate.

 

  1. Look in the mirror! How are you contributing to this situation? What role are you playing in the escalation of things? The key is to focus on what you can do differently. What can you do to make things better? If you can figure out your role in the dynamic you’ll learn something important about yourself and you will be able to de-escalate the conflict.

 

  1. Reframe the situation. For instance, the individual you are dealing with is screaming and yelling and wanting to be right! Instead of becoming annoyed and irritated at their unprofessional behavior – picture them as a child wearing a diaper and throwing a temper tantrum. This allows you to take a step back and not engage!

 

  1. Focus on the other persons strengths. Remind yourself of the contributions that the other person brings to your company or your team. When things are going badly, we have a tendency to focus on what doesn’t work and all of the negatives. Focusing on the positive helps us to at least get back to a neutral space and look at things a little more objectively.

 

  1. Use cooperative communication such as, “I’ve noticed that we seem to have differences. I have some ideas about how we might be able to work together more effectively and I would like to hear your thoughts.” Invite them to be a part of the solution and really listen to their ideas. If you are unable to communicate either because you are too angry or the other person is, then walk away gracefully rather than standing your ground and allowing things to escalate.

 

  1. Document all interactions in a neutral manner. It is important to keep track of the confrontations. If you are not able to de-escalate the conflict early on, take the issue to your immediate supervisor or someone in your H/R department and have a neutral party mediate the situation. 

 

Conflicts should never be swept under the carpet. If you are the supervisor or manager and have employees that are involved in a personality conflict, coach them to resolve their own situation and if that doesn’t work step in!  You have a responsibility to the other employees to get control of this situation.

 

About Carol Fredrickson

 

Clients rely on Carol Fredrickson’s skills, knowledge and expertise to prevent 6-7 figure lawsuits, and more importantly to avert violent workplace disasters.  She is a recognized authority on workplace violence, conflict in the workplace and personal safety. She has been profiled and interviewed by hundreds of print, radio, and television outlets and she consults with the media on a regular basis.

 

Carol spent 15 years in law enforcement specializing in emergency services and disaster preparedness. She was awarded the Police Chief’s Commendation for saving the life of a police officer.  Since 1993 over 100,000 people have benefited from Carol’s powerful message of personal strength and self reliance. She keeps audiences on the edge of their seats with stranger-than-fiction case studies and “worst case scenarios” pulled from hundreds of real-life violent workplace situations – and preventing hundreds more through her work “in the trenches” onsite with corporate clients, partnering with law firms, and working closely with law enforcement agencies nationwide.

 

For more information about Carol’s speaking, training and consulting, visit www.violence-free.com or call 623-242-8797.

School Security Measures

August 20, 2013

School Security Measures

 

                As I have heard several times in several places “It’s time to do something and not form another taskforce or study the problem any longer. We need to do something to protect our kids”. But it seems like all we (as parents), the media, government, law enforcement, & schools ever want to do is wring our hands and say ‘woe is me’.

                In my book ‘Never to Grow-Up: Preventing Violence in our Schools’ I listed several ways we can protect our kids while they are at school. This will protect them from not the just the outsider but also from the internal threats of bullying and fist fights, mostly.

                So what are some of those measures that schools can take to safeguard our children while they are in their care? Here is a small list;

 

Access Control:

  • Lock all the doors when school is in session
  • All non-students must sign in/out – even trusted school district personnel and have an ID badge that is visible at all times
  • NO Exceptions to having doors left propped open to allow ‘easier access

 

Security & Patrols:

  • When not absorbed with other duties then ALL school personnel should patrol the school
  •  Walk thru the grounds looking for anything ‘unusual’ or out of place
  •  This can have 2 good effects

        Letting ne’r do wells know someone is observing the grounds

        Letting everyone get a better view and reference points of the campus

  • Hire security personnel or get parents to patrol the grounds and perimeter
  •  Discuss opening a police sub-station in a small office near the entrance (they will be grateful)
  •  No windows in doors without safety/bullet resistant glass
  •  Locks on classroom doors that allow teachers to lock their charges in
  •  Evacuation measures i.e. chain ladders for 2nd floor & higher classrooms
  • Remote locks so the main office can lock any door at any time
  • NO sidelite windows next to entry doors larger than 1’X5’

 

Confrontation:

                Teach the teachers, staff, janitors, and everybody else that works at the school how to confront someone who doesn’t seem like they belong at the school. This may be uncomfortable to most, but if a potential perpetrator is confronted, chances are they won’t follow through.

 

Warning Signs:

                Teach everyone, from students to parents to staff what the warning signs are of a kid who may ‘Go Columbine’. By learning these signs and enforcing them, then we can head off some incidents. Not all, nothing is ever guaranteed, but most.

 

 ‘Buy-in’ from Everyone:             

                Again, from students to parents, to staff need to be involved in preventing violence. It’s not just the responsibility for the school or government. It’s an issue that affects all of us and needs to be handled by ALL of us.

                From sharing information (that in many times isn’t for fear of retribution by administrators, parents, or students), ‘cracking down’ on those kids and parents who fail to properly do the necessary things, and not making excuses or allowing a door to remain open ‘just this once’.

 

Train, train, train:

                Take the time to train all students, faculty, administrators, janitors, and people in the building what to do if you have an active shooter situation. If you have visitors (of any kind) they must also follow the exercise at the same time. It doesn’t matter how important ‘they think they are’, they need to follow and be a part of the exercise.

 

Summary:

                These are just a few of the things that we can all do to ensure safety and security amongst our kids while they are traveling to and from school and while they are there. As parents we need to ensure that we uphold the discipline the school metes out, even if we don’t necessarily agree. Together we can all keep our kids safer in the 2nd place they should be safest.

                None of us wants our schools to become ‘citadels on the hill’, available to only a few who are chosen’. And we certainly don’t want them to be like a prison or ‘gulag’. But we need to harden these targets as best as we can with the limited resources we can get – taxes, state funds, or volunteers/donations.

 

                Want to hear or know more about preventing violence in our schools? Call us for a seminar, talk to us in a consultation, or buy the book on Amazon! 480-251-5197

www.sollarssecurityshield.com

http://www.amazon.com

School Violence Still Reigns

August 17, 2013

School Violence Still Reigns

 

                A new school year has started here in Arizona (I still can’t understand that). And while you may think schools are getting safer the question we have to ask ourselves is this – Are they really safer or are we just fooling ourselves in the hopes of?

                In Scottsdale Arizona, the school district is implementing a new visitor policy which should, on the surface, look good. They are going to require that everyone coming into the school have a visitors badge and sign in/out at the main desk. This is one of the tenets for any good security system be it business, school, or otherwise. But is it enough?

                By far I say no. Everyone is hand wringing and talking about how worried we are about our kids. We need a taskforce to prevent another Sandy Hook. We need more money. We need more … We need this… We need that… But is that the issue? Again, no.

                The issue may be in part money. What we need to do is STOP hiring middle managers, psychologists, administrators, and those who do nothing but one job and nothing else. This is not the way to better educate or protect our kids.

                The other aspect of this comes down to simple civil liberties and freedoms to choose and have the government stop trying to run our lives. So I propose a radical idea for school districts all across the country. Get the Parents Involved!

                All we are doing to throwing money at a problem and expecting it to go away. Nothing in the real world works like that. If we get parents involved in the children’s affairs, both at home and school, we can prevent a lot of school violence.

                From fist fights on the play-grounds and sidewalks to actual violence involving weapons/firearms. It will even stop a lot of the bullying, threats, harassment, and intimidation that goes on in schools.

                If you remember a few months ago, a county in Wisconsin instituted a new policy within their school district. If the parents refuse to cooperate and help to stop the bullying, threatening behavior of their kids, harassment, and etc. then THEY will be held accountable and fined for not assisting!

                Many parents feel they have no time for their kids, especially the older ones to be able to police their activities. They have to work and provide a roof and food for the kids. Therefore they can’t be doing a lot of this stuff. And sometimes it doesn’t really matter.

                But studies have shown if parents get involved in kid’s lives it makes a difference, most of the time. In many places we see the issues with parents not caring or having fallen into a stupor themselves and not caring about even themselves i.e. Chicago and Los Angeles with their gangs and firearm violence. And if the parents don’t care about themselves or only their own pleasures (drugs, alcohol, and etc.) nothing will never do any good.

 

                Want to know more of the warning signs, and what can be done to prevent school violence inside and outside? Contact us at 480-251-5197 or the website; http://www.sollarssecurityshield.com .

                Look at our Facebook pages for updates on violence in both schools and businesses. Either Today’s Training or One is too many

Customer Service & Preventing WPV

August 13, 2013

Customer Service & Preventing WPV

 

                You’re asking one major question at this point. What in the world does customer service have to do with WPV? Customer service has many facets to it, much like WPV, and therefore the service you provide, or don’t, can be the spark that ignites a firestorm.

                Every business has both internal and external customers. And how you treat them can have an impact on if you’ll have an incident within your business. Again there are many kinds of workplace violence that you simply can’t prevent. And having a customer perpetrate an incident against an employee may or may not be preventable, but why would you take the chance?

                Customer service has been a huge bug-a-boo for years for businesses. Mostly it concentrated on external customers. But you have to give as much attention to your internal customers as well.

                So what do you have to consider and think about in connecting WPV and customer service? Here is just a few slight tips for you and your management staff (not to mention employees);

Internal Customers

                These are the people that work with you every day. Whether they are in your business or not. Whether you are the sole proprietor or have hundreds of employees. If you look at it in a broad perspective then you’ll know who your internal customers are.

                If you are a large company and have many departments, then every single department that you work or deal with is a customer. Take for example in a manufacturing plant you have at least 10 departments working there or maybe in an off-site location. Shipping & receiving, manufacturing (and if you make different products, each product line), quality control, management, support staff (mainly the office), maintenance, sales, security, housekeeping/janitorial, and etc. And these are just a few of what you have.

 

External Customers

                This may be a little easier to think of, but not as easy to distinguish at times. This is mainly because some of your external customers can also be internal customers. People such as delivery or other support personnel. Contracted janitorial or security people. They may be an external provider/customer, but they work at your company on a regular basis becoming an internal customer as well.

 

                Every day you go to work you have, at a minimum, 5 different sets of customers you deal or interact with. That’s right 5. Do you know who they are? They are very simple and easy to illustrate.

 

But over and above the 5 sets, there are attitudes that your employees utilize, whether by habit or by training that can also affect customers/co-workers to commit violence. And these are above the attitudes that companies have towards their employees. Not a single one of them is good and unfortunately you run into them far too frequently in the business world today.

  • Do I Look Like I Care?
  • Lint On The Shoulder
  • South Pole
  • Doh!
  • I, Robot
  • By The Book
  • Exercise Time

                        These are by no means the only things that need to be taught, not doing of course, and thought about when it comes to customer service to both internal and external customers. But it is a start. Most training programs in companies don’t go far enough in teaching customer service and then they won’t empower their employees to solve problems – and sometimes it’s justified.

            But you have to keep in mind that if someone is ‘on the edge’ and ready to go postal, then a bad customer service relationship may push them over. And it doesn’t matter if it is co-workers or actual outside customers. They can all react violently if that case.

            This is an excerpt from the chapter on customer service from my forth coming book ‘One is too Many: Recognizing & Preventing Workplace Violence’

 

            Want to know more about customer service and how it can help to prevent an incident of WPV? Call us at 480-251-5197 or look at our website

www.sollarssecurityshield.com

Average Profile of a WPV Perpetrator

August 9, 2013

Average Profile of a WPV Perpetrator

 

                While these signs below are the most frequent profiles of people who will perpetrate WPV, it is by no means the exclusive and definitive list. Just as many WPV incidents can and will be carried out by people that don’t fit comfortably into this list. Therefore, we must be constantly aware and be willing to spot/report something;

 

Age:

                The age of a perpetrator will usually be between 25 and 45 years of age. But in recent years we’ve seen people as young as 22 and as old as 70 that will commit an incident.

                As with Adam Lansa at Sandy Hook last year, no one can ever say that he was within the normal age group of either WPV or SV. The same holds true all the way around. I believe the ages are lengthening.

 

Race & Gender:

                The overwhelming majority of incidents are committed by white males. Again, this is the majority. There are numerous incidents where I can point you to a female and a black, Asian, Hispanic, or Arabic descendant who perpetrated the crime. From the truck driver in the Bay area last year to the Iraqi who bombed the social security office in Arizona and killed a co-worker.

 

Weapon:

                The majority of people, media and law enforcement alike, believe that most WPV incidents occur with firearms. They do not! Only the incidents that get the headlines are committed with firearms – or are used for other purposes i.e. political means. More incidents are committed with fists, words, & other implements than are with firearms, including hammers, screwdrivers, & even pencils.

 

Family/work Stress:

                Serious stress in someone’s family is also in the profile. Stress, as I’m sure you know, can come from many different sources. From a child’s illness, financial, divorce, and so many other items. If you look at most incidents there is stress of some kind that is among the reasoning’s for them to commit the crime. Then look at the stress placed on individuals in their jobs – wondering if they’ll have a job and etc.)

 

Mental Illness:

                Everyone who perpetrates an incident of WPV has been perceived to have a mental illness. In most instances, they do. But not in all cases. Please remember that depression, or another health concern can be destructive to someone’s mental health and put them into ‘a dark abyss’ of mental illness.

 

Perception of disparate treatment:

                I haven’t read any incident of WPV that hasn’t included this aspect of the profile. From the incident in Hialeah Florida last month, to Motra Transmissions in Phoenix in 2005. Everyone that I have read/heard about has perceived that they received disparate treatment from co-workers, supervisors, managers, vendors, and etc.

 

Loner:

                Ah, the proverbial ‘lone wolf’. The people who commit these crimes, whether it be at a business, the parking lot, the sidewalk, or in someone’s home will normally be a loner. From sitting by themselves at lunch or on breaks or just never socializing with others at work or when out.

                They may sit by themselves and appear to be happy or satisfied but they aren’t. In some cases they are just painfully, for them, shy. In either event, they shun other people for a number of reasons.

 

Other signs:

                There are numerous other signs that can profile the potential perpetrator of this crime. In these cases, if you look at the warning signs, then you’ll see many other facets of someone who may become violent in the workplace. From drug and alcohol abuse, addiction to violent music, video games, & movies, and attendance issues.

                As with the warning signs, we all have to be able to ‘connect the dots’ and not be afraid to tell or talk to someone about the co-worker. Be they a friend or not, someone has to say something.

 

                Want to hear warning signs, attitudes, & the profile at one time? Contact us at 480-251-5197 or look at our website;

www.sollarssecurityshield.com

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Twitter: @robertsollars2

Personal Security

August 5, 2013

Personal Security

 

                You’re walking thru the mall parking lot. It’s late and the stores have just closed – on a Monday, not many people around. You see some men lounging around close to your car. You start to get frightened and turn around, but a hand grabs your shoulder and …

                An unlikely scenario? Not really. Watch the news and read the headlines. Violence against women grows almost daily. It’s the #1 cause of death in the workplace for women. Domestic violence is rampant- even with restraining orders, assaults – verbal & physical (either way they are mentally and emotionally draining), threats – both verbal & physical, rape and even worse. So how can you stay safe late at night or otherwise?

                Read and follow these tips and hopefully it’ll help. Just remember that there is never a guarantee of anything. Every situation is different and only you can judge if any of these can be done safely.

 

Never leave anywhere alone.

I know that sounds a bit paranoid, and silly, But it is especially true at night. If you work late or have to park in the dark corner of the lot, have someone walk with you. There is strength in numbers. And if you can walk with someone that is all the better. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a man or woman.

 

Have a weapon ready

                I’m not saying that you have to carry a firearm or a Bowie knife with you either. You just need a weapon to use if necessary. Use a can of pepper spray or even a TaSER if you want. Another effective weapon that most won’t anticipate is carrying your car keys between your fingers!

                Even with only one key, as many do, placing it between your fingers serves a two-fold purpose. #1 it allows you to get in and start your car quickly. #2 it gives you something to jab and slice with if accosted.

                Another handy weapon to have, if you want is a kubaton. This is a small device that has a handle and your keys hook to the end of it, with a swivel. If you get into danger you swing it at the attackers face. If you have more than one key on it, you can cause some serious injury to someone. And usually they will try to find someone a little less ‘forceful’.

 

Scream

                Don’t be afraid to let loose a blood curdling, high pitched, wail of a scream if you’re accosted. Scream loud and then louder. Get someone’s attention. Anyone is trying to do you harm, no matter what it is, doesn’t want attention. And by screaming you’re drawing attention to yourself and them.

                This also works well in your neighborhood late at night. Your neighbors will wake up and start turning on lights or calling the police to report such a horrific scream. This would be especially true if you live a normally quiet neighborhood.

 

Be aware of your surroundings

                You have to be aware of what is around you and what is occurring at all times. This is never more true than late at night or in unfamiliar surroundings. Know the 5 W’s & H of journalism for this scenario.

                One of the first things I learned in my high school journalism class was the 5 W’ and H. And I apply it to practically everything since then. You MUST know; Who, What, When, Where, Why, & How of everything around you. From traffic sounds to that slight scratching noise from around the corner.

 

Fight back

                I can guarantee you that you can fight back no matter what the situation. Everyone, no matter what you say, can fight an ‘ol’ fashioned down, dirty, street fighter’ manner. If necessary. How do you do that, it’s fairly simple. Use these ideas to do it.

                Stomp on their instep with your foot (heels really hurt).  Put your fist into their groin with ‘extreme prejudice’ (this also has a tendency to hurt – male or female). Use your thumbs to gouge on their eyes pushing as hard as you can. Punch, kick, gouge, bite, do what you have to do to both gain attention and cause them pain. Chances are they will give up and find someone who is ‘easier pickins.

 

Have your cell phone at the ready

                Always have your phone ready to dial 911 is you are out and about at night. You can dial the number and just leave it as such until you need to dial. But one thing you never want to do is be distracted.

                This means never talk on the phone and not realize your surroundings. That is too dangerous. We’ve all seen the videos of people walking into signs, fountains, and etc while on their phones.And while we laugh at their stupidity, we still do it ourselves.

 

                People may call you paranoid because you do these things. But in this case, let them. I prefer to call it cautious and be prepared. Remember ‘Expect the Best but Prepare for the Worst. These tips can hopefully make the women in your life (wives, daughters, grandmothers, or just friends) safer.

 

                Want more of these safety/security tips for personal, home, school, business security & safety? Call 480-251-5197 or see our website at

http://www.sollarssecurityshield.com